Values have been an important driving force in my actions for as long as I can remember. Deliberate practice around living into my values is new, and the reason I call it a practice is because it doesn't come as easily as it should.
I evaluate my primary values periodically, and have come to the same conclusion over the last 5 years, perhaps differing only in rank order. In order of priority, I value:
Well-being
Authenticity
Connection
Do I always live those values? No. I'm human, after all. I try to, but sometimes, especially in highly emotional moments, I forget that my need for well-being drives everything I do, both for myself and others. For example, while I know very well that eating chocolate cake takes away from my long term ability to be well (diabetes runs in my family), I can't give up on the sense of pleasure that chocolate provides, without fail, every time. Diminishing returns be damned.
I do know, however, that when I'm not practicing my usual wellness rituals (working out, yoga, walks, meditation, to name a few), then I'm not my best self for my family, particularly my children. If I am not well, my family suffers because I can't take care of them, nor provide for them. I also want to be a live example for them and truly express that taking care of yourself equips you to take care of others' needs.
I grew up with family values that I want to my children to learn. They weren't necessarily ever spoken...I don't remember my parents sitting us down as kids and saying XYZ is what we value, but my sister and I grew up with some unspoken values that we want to pass on to our children. Honesty, Integrity, Kindness, Service. We saw those in action with my parents, in their interactions with us, and their interactions with others.
I sometimes worry that our lives here in the US are very different to what we experienced growing up in Bangladesh. While both my parents worked, they were always present in our lives In the most important places. They also had a "village" to help take care of us, which I don't have the privilege of for my kids because of our go-go-go lives. However, having my parents and sister, as well as cousins, close by is a blessing many of my friends don't have. I don't take that for granted. I want my kids to grow up and be happy, kind, authentic, healthy and good people. That's all, that's it. Hopefully that's not too much to ask of the universe!